So many thoughts go through my mind of what I want to write.  But each time I sit down to write my mind goes blank.  As I was at "Time Out for Women" ,with some of my awesome family, I wrote down some of those thoughts.

But first let me catch up on what's been happening with the Lovell's.

Daniel competed with the water polo team in the summer games.  They got the silver medal!!  I have to admit those caps are pretty funny looking!  ha ha

I have been writing down some of my thoughts because it seems that every time I sit down at this computer I can't think of what I'd like to share.
But before I get all philosophical let me tell of our "family happenings".

I last posted about events in January, February and March.  In April Kenyon and Addy took us to the Clark County fair for my birthday!  It was a lot of fun.  The rodeo was the best I have been to in a long time.

Daniel and Kaitlyn

Daren and I, with our Kanab buddies went for a ride down to Lake Havasu.   It was a great ride!  When we arrived at our destination we were all pretty hot.  The temperature was in the 90's.  We were all geared up in our leathers or other gear and it's great when you are moving but when you stop and it's that hot....

dipping our feet in the pool felt heavenly!

Daren and I at the London Bridge

Easter was different this year.  We usually go camping but Daniel had water polo so we just went out west for a picnic and to roll our easter eggs.  But that morning we had our big Easter Egg Hunt and had to find where that crazy rabbit had hidden all the Easter Baskets!

After watching Daniel play water polo we headed out for our picnic.   The stakes were high this year for the Egg Rolling Contest... the winner would take home the amazing trophy!

As you can see Taleena and Aspen won!!!  Kaity and Daniel were in a close 2nd but the scale tipped to Taleena when the judge Duke admitted he didn't want the trophy at our house.  He is crazy!!  It is truly an honor to house that awesome trophy until the next big Easter Egg Rolling Contest!

April has been a good month!  My birthday was wonderful.   It started out by my awesome students bringing me some cute gifts!  Erika took me out to lunch!  We went to this smoothie place in town and got tacos and smoothies, YUM!  Daren surprised me by coming to the smoothie shop with birthday flowers and some wonderful news!  He got a phone call from the president of SUU regarding Cole.  He told Daren that Cole was well on his way to getting his degree and the university wanted to present one of us with it at SUU's graduation.  We were overcome with joy and gratitude for them remembering Cole and wanting to recognize him!

Graduation was on Friday and it was an emotional day but a good one.  As I walked from the parking lot to the centrum many graduates were in their robs anxious to get to their graduation ceremony.  I had to fight back tears and the realization hit me that even though I was there for Cole I would not actually get to see him accept his degree.  I know he was there and walked across that stage with Taleena as they told about his accomplishments, fight with cancer,  and his death.  As Taleena walked off the stage she received a standing ovation as the crowd stood to honor her and Cole.  

Probably the hardest part of the day was during the ceremony when all the graduates came walking into the centrum and a cute little girl behind us started saying, "where's my daddy?"  and then when she saw him she was so excited and " yelled a few times, "there's Daddy, there's Daddy!"  Taleena broke down and I couldn't hold back the tears either.  What a bitter sweet day.  (I will post pictures soon.)

We are so grateful to SUU for honoring Cole.  The administration at SUU have been amazing!

I have run out of time.  Sometime, hopefully soon, I'll write about my healing process and progress.

I don't know if the sound will work but this is a short little video I found.  He made this right before he was leaving Portugal.  He had very mixed feelings that day.  As I was talking to a friend we started comparing the feelings of his last day in Portugal and his last day in this life.  Such mixed emotions, struggling to leave those he loved behind but knowing it was time for the next part of his "journey".  Sure miss that smile, sure miss my boy.

 

 Taleena threw a big Birthday Party for Cole.  We had all his favorite foods and treats!  We sent birthday wishes to him in blue balloons, his favorite color.





Aspen in her party hat!

We are all ready to go to Addy and Kenyon reception in Alamo!  We are at Kenyon's parents home in Alamo.  The day before was the big wedding in St. George and the reception in Enoch.  It all turned out so wonderful!!  I'm having technical difficulties downloading pictures of the wedding.  I can't believe I can't show you the beautiful bride and handsome groom.  (Next post, stay tuned.)

Aspen's 1st Birthday!!!  She's growing up!

The Enoch Stake Presidency's Wives and Sister Worthen.  Her husband was the presiding Seventy that taught us and presided at our stake conference.  He is now the president of BYU.  We enjoyed them and learned a lot from them.  Sister Worthen seemed like a long time friend, we hit it off!  She reminded me of another long time friend, Rebecca that would be you!

What a ride!!  Daren, Erika and I headed down to St. George for an exciting adventure.  Erika was suppose to be back for a class but was not able to make it.  We drifted HIGH above those Washington farms but with little wind we made slow progress to our destination.  She had to email her professor using my smart phone and tell him she was stuck in a hot air balloon and would not be able to make it to class.  He emailed her back telling her that she received the prize for the most unique reason for missing class.  She assured him she had pictures to prove the validity of her excuse!

Can I just say I hate cancer?  Well I do, but as Cole's hospice nurse said, "God doesn't go around giving people cancer, but he will use it as a means to bring some of his children back home when it is their time".  I'm sure that wasn't word for word but basically what he said.
Jay Holt, a dear friend, passed away a few weeks ago.  What a great man!  He first got cancer about 8 years ago.  He had surgery and was doing great until around March 2013 when he found out it was back. The doctors removed one of his kidneys.  We stopped by to see him as we were making the trip back to Cedar with Cole. Cole had just finished with Chemo and radiation and was doing well.  Jay on the other hand wasn't.  But Jay recovered after surgery and some time with chemo.  He then came down to Cedar after Cole found out his cancer was back .  Jay cheered him on and gave him encouragement.  Jay was able to make another trip to see Cole and Taleena a few weeks later and let them know how much he loved them.  Jay's recovery was short lived as was Cole's.  We had to say another good bye but just for a short time, even though right now it doesn't feel so short.  But we are blessed to KNOW we will see them again and they are cheering us on from the other side of the veil and helping us all they can.

Jay, Daren and Cole

This is Kjerstin and Kurtis's cute baby Rylee Jo!  Our third granddaughter!!  She is such a blessing and joy to our family.   Her big sister Sophie loves her sooo much.

I've set a goal to post today!  Sometime after church.  It has been quite a while.

It has been awhile since I last posted.  We have definitely had our good days and bad.  There is not a day that goes by without many thoughts of Cole and how much we miss him.  I figure this summer when I am not so busy with school I will let myself mourn the loss of my Dad and grandma.  I have had more to try to understand with Cole.  When I am discouraged or feel overwhelmed I try to remember that God does love us and this will all make sense when I am on the other side of the veil and can see how all our experiences have worked to benefit us.

We have been busy getting ready for Adelyn's wedding.  I have to admit it took my brain a while to be able to focus on all that needs to be done for this awesome occasion.  But plans are going well.  We are so excited for Adelyn and Kenyon.  They will live in Henderson while Kenyon is in the police academy.  Adelyn is finishing her degree at USU online.

Taleena is working hard at being an awesome student to attain her teaching degree.  Aspen gets to spend time with her Grandma Hogreen while her Mommy is at school.  Taleena's Mom comes down to Cedar Mon- Wednesday to help her with Aspen.  Aspen's pretty lucky.  I'm looking forward to my week off in February to get my turn babysitting!

Kjerstin is due the end of March.... it's a girl!

I thought I had added a picture of Grandma Nellie's funeral to my last post.  Grandma raised 6 boys.  I think the pale pink casket they picked out for her was perfect.  She didn't have many "girly moments" raising my uncles.   :)

Kjerstin and Erika

Kaitlyn Nellie Lovell
She was named after an amazing woman.

 This is part two.  To go in order read the previous post.  

Jay, Duke and Cole

 This is after Adelyn went through the temple.  She received her mission call but that handsome guy on her left swept her off her feet and they are getting married February the 15th!!

Sophie's but #2 Birthday party!  We were glad Grandpa Newell and Grandma MaryAnn were able to be there.

Grandma Nellie and my sister Janeen at my Dad's funeral.

My first buck!

Halloween 2013, Aspen was a cat.

Cole giving us council.  He wanted us to remember that each day is important, to stay faithful and strong.  He was an amazing example to us.  We miss him more then worlds can express.

This years wrestling shirts!

Yummy Thanksgiving pie.

Sledding at our 1st annual Christmas party.

Merry Christmas everyone!