Saturday, March 21, 2015

A few pictures of recent events!


Aspen's 2nd Birthday!

Sophie and Rylee are getting so big.  

Daniel and Kaitlyn enjoying the snow.

Erika's Mission Farewell Dinner

Siblings at the MTC.  Erika is now in Ohio doing great!!

Sunday, March 1, 2015

It has been longer then I thought....

I want you all to know I survived last semester and feel pretty good about the grades I received and feel even better about the knowledge I gained.  Life was pretty busy then and I thought I could relax a bit but something always seems to fill up the time.  We decided to add onto our house and that was a crazy project but we are very near the end and are very pleased with how it turned out.  There are so many amazingly talented people that made our house look great.  I am so glad that I do not have to make any more decisions.  My family will attest that I do NOT like making decisions!  But we all survived.    

Erika is doing well in Ohio!  She is having amazing experiences and learning so much.  She has had great companions.  Erika is one that gets along with everyone.  She has a way of making people smile and to see the happy side of life.  We are so proud of her!  I miss her like crazy but this past year has given me a different perspective.  She has a return home date that I look forward to, we get to email her every week and she writes great letters to us and we get to see her (Skype) on Mother's Day and Christmas!!  If only we could Skype Cole in heaven....      Even though it was hard to drop her off at the MTC I was excited for the mission experiences she was going to have, and is now having!

Some of you may wonder how we are doing as time passes with out Cole here physically.  Some times are still very hard.  Daren and I were talking last night and I was telling him I still feel like my world has been turned up side down.  I'm still trying to adjust to this "new normal".  It is just so hard when it is such a big change to what  one would expect.  We all have our lives planned out to a certain extent and when there is a big change in our plans its hard to "recalculate" our course so to speak.  The important thing to remember is that the ending is still the same, our goals have not changed but probably become more intensely sought after.  I have felt a stronger desire to understand God's plan.  Understand and trust in the atonement and plan of salvation and to truly believe in what they mean.  I can honestly say, and I have probably said this before, that the gospel is what brings peace and comfort.  I try hard not to fall into the trap of wondering about the why's and the what if's... what if he was diagnosed sooner.  Why didn't I know, as his mother, that something was wrong?  He should be here playing with his daughter, hugging his wife and making us laugh and smile.    I want to hear him play his guitar and sing to Aspen, Taleena and all his family.  I even miss the mini heart attacks he'd give us because that guy had no fear and the list goes on and on.  Daren and Daniel will be going bear hunting this year and it won't be the same not having Cole there.  But I KNOW that in time we will be with him again because of a loving Heavenly Father and our Savior Jesus Christ that made eternal life and eternal families possible.  Oh how blessed we are!

One of the many memories is the summer, right before they moved back to Cedar, Erika and Kaity had a dance competition at Lagoon.  Taleena, Aspen and Cole were able to come and watch them.  Taleena and Aspen left after the competition to go spend some time with family.  Cole stayed and plaed with us.  We went on most of the rides and he scared Daniel to death when we all went on the ride the shoots you up a tower, I think it's called "lift off".  He kept telling Daniel that his harness was not locked and we were all pretty nervous.  But the picture that I hope I always have in my memory is when we were all running through the park to get one last ride in.  I was behind the pack a was able to see them all running.  Cole was running too, with a limp but running!  It seemed like things had come full cycle from having  a healthy boy to seeing him start to limp, then in a wheel chair unable to walk, then back to a bad limp, to a slight limp to running and healthly again.  That's how I remember Cole.  Back to running, enjoying life and taking us on another adventure.
I love you Cole.  You are always here with me and I know I will see you again some day.